It's late. I'm watching Chris Rock on Comedy Central while missing my husband. The whole living in different states situation is getting very frustrating now. As corny as it sounds, I now truly understand the infamous Jerry Maguire quote "You complete me". I'm beginning to feel incomplete. But don't feel sorry for me. I'm not sad, just making an observation.
It's oddly comforting for me to feel lonely tonight. Being a couple means so much to me that I see myself as a part of "us" first, and "me" second. No, I've not lost my individualism. On the contrary, I've gained a support system. I feel more like myself with my husband than when I'm alone. It's not a split personality thing either. I guess I just feel more motivated with him around; more alive and adventurous. Wait a minute... why do all my observations lead to the same deduction?... That I'm inherently lazy? Sigh!
Oh well. Goodnight. Will be dreaming of hubby dearest again tonight. zzzz
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Friends Indeed
It's been a while since my last blog post because I've been ill and thought I had nothing to write about. But today I've realized something. As I sit here in bed sweating my morning fever off, I go over yesterday's events in my mind.
It was a long day which ended with me visiting the ER per my doctor friend's recommendation. One Facebook status update later I received phone calls, get well soon messages, and friends in the same state volunteering to drive me to the ER. WOW! I am so blessed with the most wonderful, caring friends anyone could ever wish for. I may be physically sick right now, but I couldn't be in a better state of mind thanks to the outpouring of love from these true friends.
I dedicate this post to the beautiful people in my life and hope that I never let down an opportunity to reciprocate their affection.
It was a long day which ended with me visiting the ER per my doctor friend's recommendation. One Facebook status update later I received phone calls, get well soon messages, and friends in the same state volunteering to drive me to the ER. WOW! I am so blessed with the most wonderful, caring friends anyone could ever wish for. I may be physically sick right now, but I couldn't be in a better state of mind thanks to the outpouring of love from these true friends.
I dedicate this post to the beautiful people in my life and hope that I never let down an opportunity to reciprocate their affection.
Monday, October 26, 2009
TV and Me
Since I'm on a confession streak, here's another one. This one's big, so brace yourself... I'm in love with the idiot box. It's been my longest standing passion to date, with no sign of burn out anytime soon.
What's not to love about the television? It's your window to anyplace in the real or imaginary universe, ready to entertain, educate, or comfort you at your will. Beats the heck out of a regular window any day!
I don't subscribe to any premium channels. There's no need for HBO when I already while away the hours in front of the illuminated screen watching re-runs of Friends, King of Queens, Becker and other sitcoms. I've probably watched the same re-runs over 50 times. There's obviously no way to be sure of the exact number because I don't log these things in a diary. Though even if I did, I probably wouldn't broadcast that information voluntarily. You're not interested anyway, are you?
Sitcoms are the call of the day when I'm looking for some simple comfort viewing, but the news, sports, food, and DIY channels are regulars at my home too. And of course, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures is reality shows. No, not The Bachelor, or Survivor, or even American Idol. Those don't hold my attention for long. I enjoy the thrills of reality shows like America's Next Top Model, Say Yes to the Dress, and Project Runway, though these are also just on and off interests. I think the only reality show that I consider myself a true follower of is What Not to Wear (the American version). It's just fun to watch the personal transformations, and I pick up some valuable tips myself.
In summation, I love me some TV. If for nothing else, then for the friendly company it provides me while my hubby's away.
What's not to love about the television? It's your window to anyplace in the real or imaginary universe, ready to entertain, educate, or comfort you at your will. Beats the heck out of a regular window any day!
I don't subscribe to any premium channels. There's no need for HBO when I already while away the hours in front of the illuminated screen watching re-runs of Friends, King of Queens, Becker and other sitcoms. I've probably watched the same re-runs over 50 times. There's obviously no way to be sure of the exact number because I don't log these things in a diary. Though even if I did, I probably wouldn't broadcast that information voluntarily. You're not interested anyway, are you?
Sitcoms are the call of the day when I'm looking for some simple comfort viewing, but the news, sports, food, and DIY channels are regulars at my home too. And of course, my guiltiest of guilty pleasures is reality shows. No, not The Bachelor, or Survivor, or even American Idol. Those don't hold my attention for long. I enjoy the thrills of reality shows like America's Next Top Model, Say Yes to the Dress, and Project Runway, though these are also just on and off interests. I think the only reality show that I consider myself a true follower of is What Not to Wear (the American version). It's just fun to watch the personal transformations, and I pick up some valuable tips myself.
In summation, I love me some TV. If for nothing else, then for the friendly company it provides me while my hubby's away.
Friday, October 23, 2009
The Passion
I'm a mechanical engineer. That's right. My youth and good looks are wasted behind a desk in a sunless cubicle. OK, that may have sounded a bit conceited, but you can't blame me for feeling like a goddess... I mean I'm the only female in a group of engineers most of whom make pop culture analogies from an era before I existed. Gotta love the attention you get in that prestigious position.
Moving on to the point that I was originally trying to make, my job is very thrilling to me. Without getting into too much detail, I basically design products. Most of the time my work is pretty boring and mundane. There's a tremendous amount of paperwork involved in taking a product from concept to production. But the pay-off, though short lived, is definitely worth the months of tedious labor.
Designing a product is fun, but the thrill reaches its climax when you hold the first prototype in your hand. It's like giving birth (or at least the closest thing to it). After spending a year or so meticulously piecing together your best ideas while incorporating suggestions from the team, you're finally face to face with your original creation; your baby. Overwhelmed with awe and pride, you spend the next hour tenderly holding it, smelling it, and showing it off to your colleagues. "See this clip here? This is how it's supposed to work. And it works! YAY!"
Call me a geek or a dork, I don't care. I love who I am and what I do. I hope you feel the passion too.
Moving on to the point that I was originally trying to make, my job is very thrilling to me. Without getting into too much detail, I basically design products. Most of the time my work is pretty boring and mundane. There's a tremendous amount of paperwork involved in taking a product from concept to production. But the pay-off, though short lived, is definitely worth the months of tedious labor.
Designing a product is fun, but the thrill reaches its climax when you hold the first prototype in your hand. It's like giving birth (or at least the closest thing to it). After spending a year or so meticulously piecing together your best ideas while incorporating suggestions from the team, you're finally face to face with your original creation; your baby. Overwhelmed with awe and pride, you spend the next hour tenderly holding it, smelling it, and showing it off to your colleagues. "See this clip here? This is how it's supposed to work. And it works! YAY!"
Call me a geek or a dork, I don't care. I love who I am and what I do. I hope you feel the passion too.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
2 + 2 = 4
I've always loved math. There's only one correct solution to any problem in math, so I guess I felt a strong sense of security in the subject. I knew that as long as I made the right choices, taking one careful step at a time, I would undoubtably arrive at the right answer. Of course that doesn't mean that I never got less than a 100% on a math exam, it's just that I knew that if I lost a point, it was because of a flaw in my approach, and not because the teacher was biased.
This analysis of my affinity to math and all things logical brings to light two interesting points about my personality; 1) I have a constant, burning urge to make sense of every situation, and 2) I put myself under the microscope before anybody else when things go wrong.
Whether I'm listening to mundaine complaints from co-workers or a lecture on faith and humanity, I can almost physically feel my mind making logical links, and discerning the nonsense. Suffice it to say that I love a good debate. I'm not generally confrontational, but I sure am stubborn and like to make my point.
However, I'm the first to admit when I'm wrong, just as soon as I've discovered the flaw in my opinion. I've admittedly been in that situation a considerable number of times with my husband who's about as logical minded as I am, and slightly more stubborn. So the fact is that I don't shy away from scrutinizing my own logic to the nth degree. You may call it self-doubt, but I think it's simply self-validation. When you try to validate your opinions, thoughts, or actions you run the risk of sometimes finding out that you were wrong. I don't think there's any shame in admitting fault. After all, if we don't recognize and admit our mistakes, how are we to learn from them and grow? Isn't that what life's all about?
This analysis of my affinity to math and all things logical brings to light two interesting points about my personality; 1) I have a constant, burning urge to make sense of every situation, and 2) I put myself under the microscope before anybody else when things go wrong.
Whether I'm listening to mundaine complaints from co-workers or a lecture on faith and humanity, I can almost physically feel my mind making logical links, and discerning the nonsense. Suffice it to say that I love a good debate. I'm not generally confrontational, but I sure am stubborn and like to make my point.
However, I'm the first to admit when I'm wrong, just as soon as I've discovered the flaw in my opinion. I've admittedly been in that situation a considerable number of times with my husband who's about as logical minded as I am, and slightly more stubborn. So the fact is that I don't shy away from scrutinizing my own logic to the nth degree. You may call it self-doubt, but I think it's simply self-validation. When you try to validate your opinions, thoughts, or actions you run the risk of sometimes finding out that you were wrong. I don't think there's any shame in admitting fault. After all, if we don't recognize and admit our mistakes, how are we to learn from them and grow? Isn't that what life's all about?
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Distance
It's been a little over a year now since Rajiv and I tied the knot on August 16th, 2008. That September he moved from Chicago and we've lived together since. Now he's moved back to Chicago. Yes, the move officially occurred last weekend. He is renting a room 4 and a half hours away from me, in a different time zone.
It is our big plan to move from Michigan to Chicago. We are city folks at heart, and truly love the youth and vibrance of the urban culture particularly in Chicago. His job search was instantly successful. Mine however, is lacking in the momentum department. Meanwhile, I can't mention my situation to anyone at my current job for fear that they may consider me dispensable. Can't afford that in this economic climate. Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in the country and I certainly don't want to add to that statistic.
But I miss my husband dearly. And he's all alone there. I mean sure he has plenty of friends in the city to hang out with, and a selection of places to rendezvous, but he comes back to an empty home. Well, he has a house-mate, because he's renting a room in a 3 or 4 bedroom house, but it's not his home. At least I have my mother-in-law and two adorable cats to come home to.
We live by checklists now; move Rajiv (check), call realtor (check), research leasing (check), review property managers (check), list Lexus for sale (check), and so on. Soon everything on the list will be checked. My eye is on the "move Tasha to Chicago" item. So I move along, with my eye on the prize, a smile on my face, head held high, and looking forward to the excitement of living with my hubby again.
It is our big plan to move from Michigan to Chicago. We are city folks at heart, and truly love the youth and vibrance of the urban culture particularly in Chicago. His job search was instantly successful. Mine however, is lacking in the momentum department. Meanwhile, I can't mention my situation to anyone at my current job for fear that they may consider me dispensable. Can't afford that in this economic climate. Michigan has the highest unemployment rate in the country and I certainly don't want to add to that statistic.
But I miss my husband dearly. And he's all alone there. I mean sure he has plenty of friends in the city to hang out with, and a selection of places to rendezvous, but he comes back to an empty home. Well, he has a house-mate, because he's renting a room in a 3 or 4 bedroom house, but it's not his home. At least I have my mother-in-law and two adorable cats to come home to.
We live by checklists now; move Rajiv (check), call realtor (check), research leasing (check), review property managers (check), list Lexus for sale (check), and so on. Soon everything on the list will be checked. My eye is on the "move Tasha to Chicago" item. So I move along, with my eye on the prize, a smile on my face, head held high, and looking forward to the excitement of living with my hubby again.
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